| Something I cannot put my finger on |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|02:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Good Charlotte - Say Anything | ] |
Just some poetry I was reading I liked:
A Wondering Mind
by Anthony Fusco
As I sit and watch the rolling sea
I wonder if true love between us can ever be
In my heart are feelings that I can not explain
But the words that come to mind are so simple and plain
They are words like I love you, I need you, or It's just the thought of you
But when these words come to my mind I don't know what to do
I don't know if I should forget it or just give it time
I wish I could keep my heart from controlling my mind
I know someday my true feelings I will find
But only when It is right and in God's due time
Me and You
by Tina Potts
When I first talked to you
I felt like I had known you forever,
telling you my problems
and what I didn't want ever.
You listened to me
I bet you thought I'd never end,
who would have thought
we would be the best of friends.
Over a period of time,
I got to know the real you.
A guy so charming and gentle,
with a heart so true.
You've survived your life
with me by your side.
I told you I'd never leave
because of the feelings I have inside.
There was a time
I wanted to explore,
what would have happened
if I would only open the door.
I know you
like no one I have ever known,
and sometimes I wonder
what do I do when we're alone?
So I have decided
time answers all.
If it is meant to be
time will remove the wall.
Standing between us,
holding us back,
allowing us to feel
It's the relationship that we lack.
I love the way we are together,
you can always make me smile.
Will it ever really be forever?
I guess I will have to wait awhile.
Time will reveal, what lies ahead
but always remember
what I have said.
Meeting you has changed my life
and I really love you so,
the feelings I feel for you
I am never letting go.
Remember me always
and I will too.
I will always think of
me and you.
When Best Friends Love
by Ron Carnell
You entered my life like a gentle sigh,
like a quiet breeze blowing softly through the leaves.
You were a stranger first, one who laughed freely and easily,
who spoke of minor intimacies and common grounds,
who made me feel strangely liked and valued.
You became my friend, no longer a stranger,
trusting me with secrets hidden,
confiding what you liked and hated.
We talked and laughed and, as time passed by,
I grew more and more dependent upon your smile.
From strangers to friends was just a baby step,
a step a thousand others take every day.
Without your trust and trusting ways,
without your smiles and encouraging gaze,
I would never have taken the step beyond.
But the gentle breeze blowing through the leaves
is relentless and never ending.
We became closer friends, and closer still,
until much of my life was centered around the times
we spent together.
We traveled far along the path of friendship,
avoiding the bumps somehow, never stumbling,
always in step with one another.
You were my guide, my eyes and ears,
the unfailing light that lit the road before us.
Hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder,
you brought me along our course,
to a destination I had never seen before.
You became my best friend along that journey,
the anchor in my life where none had ever been.
You did a good job of guiding our steps,
a job no other could ever do,
and it wasn't your fault, really, when I stumbled.
Somewhere along our path,
perhaps where the heights were making me dizzy with joy,
I simply lost my balance and fell.
By the grace of God, I fell not to either side, nor to the rear,
but fell instead forward, along the path we'd tread.
My plunge forward was unguided, and my steps were steps you never intended.
I fell in love with you.
From strangers, to friends, to close friends, to best friends.
And beyond.
I've never been sorry for any step we've taken together,
no, not even for the fall I took alone.
I never knew, before knowing you, how empty my life had been.
I thought I was happy. I thought I was successful.
I thought I had known love and all that love can bring.
But the gentle breeze, blowing softly through the leaves,
carries the smell of wild flowers and still wilder beasts,
and what you brought into my life can never be assessed.
We are so very different, you and I. And yet so much the same.
And our differences merge with our similarities,
giving rise to something special and unique.
We talk.
Of all the things I value about this thing that is us,
and there are so many I often lose count,
I value most the way we talk about any thing any time any where.
And each time I listen to you, each time I ponder what you've said,
I learn something new. About you. About me. About the world.
I've learned to trust in your instincts.
I love the vitality and zest that is so much a part of you.
I never would have believed the breeze, blowing softly through the leaves,
could be so filled with life.
I treasure that spark of spirit in you,
that flashing flare of fire that animates all that you do.
It's easy to see how much you love life,
even when life is sometimes less than lovable,
and that love is always mirrored in your eyes and smile.
You are never more beautiful than when that spark ignites
and your vitality blazes in your happy face.
And, yes, I love your beauty, shallow as that may sound.
I love the way your eyes change from blue to blue-green,
the way the morning sun catches afire in your hair,
the way your nostrils move when you breathe deep breaths,
the way your tongue slips out of its safe harbor when you think deep thoughts.
I love the curve of your cheek,
that soft milky canvas for the faint scar you won't talk about.
I love your tiny eyelashes, the small gaps in your teeth,
the way your earlobes hang lower than mine.
Your beauty truly takes my breath away.
I love the way you trust in me, never quite whole hearted,
but always just enough.
That trust started as a small seed, I think,
a tentative whisper of unearned confidence,
often shrouded by a cloak of hesitation and unsurety.
I could always tell when you faltered,
when the steps we took were uncertain and questioned.
And yet still you trusted me,
with your secrets, with your feelings, with yourself.
You'll never know how much that trust has meant to me.
I love the way you understand me too well.
It's uncanny sometimes how well you know my thoughts, my feelings, my moods,
frightening at times how closely our lives have become interlinked.
You know so much of me, secrets I've never told,
thoughts I've never shared, parts of me I've never seen myself.
You've discovered a window into my being,
a window I didn't know was there,
a window no one else has ever found.
It's almost as if our two souls have merged into one,
almost as if the hand of God has repaired that which once was broken.
I love the way we have fun doing the strangest things,
or the way we can enjoy each other doing nothing at all.
We shop and walk, eat and talk,
playing games apart and united.
We study and drill, work and play,
listening to music and singing the words together.
We have fun with each other,
frolicking in our shared pleasures,
you enjoying the thrill of life,
me just enjoying you.
I'm not blinded by my love, though, and know you are not perfect.
You are impatient and easy to anger,
too intolerant when you should tolerate,
too forgiving when you shouldn't forgive.
You allow the stresses of life to mold your day,
allow the commitments of life to shape your way.
I know your imperfections as well as your perfections,
know your faults as well as your assets.
And I find I love you not in spite of those,
but as much because of them as anything else.
Your life has touched mine.
My friendship with you, my love for you,
all that you are and aren't,
have changed my life in ways you cannot fathom,
in ways I could never describe in depth.
The gentle breeze, blowing softly through the leaves,
has worked her wondrous magic,
transforming the one she touched.
I'm not the same man I was a year ago.
I will never be that man again.
The communication we've shared has taught me to value our honest openness,
and I know I'll never be satisfied again with less.
Your trust in me has taught me to trust in you,
knowing you will never intentionally cause me pain.
Your spark of vitality has transformed the way I see life,
giving me reason again to live and cause to celebrate.
Your beauty, both inner and outer, has renewed the wonder
with which I see the world, and has restored my sense of awe.
Even the fun we share, that senseless sense of joy,
has changed the way I live and think.
As much as you've altered my present, though,
the effect you've had on my future is just as great.
I once thought I knew what love meant to me,
once thought I had experienced all that life had to offer.
I lived and I loved, and I hurt and I grew,
and I believed I could never love again,
could never willingly face the pain of caring.
Love was a myth, I thought, and true love, lasting love,
was just a lie told by poets.
But I was wrong.
In learning to love you, I discovered I've never loved before.
Not truly. Not entirely. Not eternally.
I've spent much of my life in love with love,
searching for the fulfillment of a concept,
caring more for caring than caring for another person.
I confused lust with love, intimacy with affection.
And when those feelings waned, when the relationships died,
I wondered why I felt so empty. So hurt.
You changed that, as you've changed so much else.
You taught me how to love.
I wish you knew the me of before,
as you know so well the me of today,
so you could see the difference knowing you has made.
You've changed my life in so many ways,
in ways small and ways important,
in ways you'll never know nor understand.
The impact you've had on me,
on the way I feel and think and act,
will endure forever. Until the end of time.
Like a quiet breeze blowing softly through the leaves. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 6th, 2005|03:47 pm] |
| The Keys to Your Heart | 
You are attracted to obedience and warmth.
In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.
Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now. |
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| Shouts out to HER, you know who you are ;) |
[Dec. 2nd, 2005|08:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Green Day - Extraordinary Girl | ] |
She's an Extraordinary girl
In an ordinary world
And she cant seem to get away
He lacks the courage in his mind
Like a child left behind
Like a pet left in the rain
She's all alone again
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Some days he feels like dying
She gets so sick of crying
She sees the mirror of herself
An image she wants to sell
To anyone willing to buy
He steals the image in her kiss
From her hearts apocalypse
From the one called whatsername
She's all alone again
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Some days he feels like dying
She gets so sick of crying
She's all alone again
Wiping the tears from her eyes
Some days he feels like dying
Some days it's not worth trying
Now that they both are finding
She gets so sick of crying
She's an Extraordinary girl
an Extraordinary girl
an Extraordinary girl
an Extraordinary girl |
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| Others Writting |
[Apr. 25th, 2005|10:29 am] |
I found some poems/writting around that kinda just stuck with me so I am in the mood to place them here, if you dont like it...tough..if you are pissed about it, eat shit and die!! If you are part of the law firms representing the original authors please feel free to comment in a nonthreating, professional manner :P~
( Read more... ) |
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| Ponder |
[Apr. 20th, 2005|09:27 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Work - Server Fans | ] |
Weak am I for these words I dare not speak,
for what will happen if they should leak.
Burning my heart and soul by holding it back,
the ability to tell you this is what I lack.
For you my heart has begun to sway,
since you entered my life I cannot look away.
These feelings came to me so very strong,
with out you I feel so very wrong.
My chest goes tight my heart in flames,
whenever I begin to think of your name.
I am starting to seen the source of this calling,
For you I am certain that I am falling. |
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| Ghost in the shell. |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|04:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "The Vampire Lestat" - Dead Cell | ] |
So peaceful yet so lovely,
her flawless form sitting in the dark.
She looks at me with doubting eyes,
I cannot help my inner thought.
Past my face and through my mind,
her hypnotic stare does drift.
Burning through every ounce of my soul,
her heavenly glance does rip.
Her face so pure and hair so fine,
she looks at me with goddesses' smile.
Most intense her beauty becomes,
leaving me full of pain but always craving evermore.
She stalks my dreams day and night,
the specter of this living world.
Fueling my soul and burning my mind,
she is of every whim, every breath, untold. |
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| Felt like writting today |
[Apr. 6th, 2005|10:26 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Library - Idiots trying to fix the printer | ] |
Who is this boy who sits here now? Burning and shrouded he does
not know how. Screaming and crying from his godless pain.
Beyond all reason and logic, this hurt is all in vain.
All that mattered is gone, not a single thought here from before.
Why does it all have to happen? Why is it not life before?
Face still bleeding and eyes still scared. The flame of love,
for this one he care, has bitten him hard and bitten him long.
Smoldering and still broken inside, pulling himself together,
nothing left of his pride. Fueled by nothing inside, except mind
over matter, nothing breaks through his cries.
Pushing on to his knees, crawling to his feet, wondering what he
has done to deserve this fate. Not able to hold his emotions from
the one he does not hate. Standing here before him with bloodshot
eyes is the uncaring bitch herself. No remorse or regret even
hinted with in her cries.
Wailing harder as he breaks the look into her eyes. Unable to move
or speak as he feels his mouth run dry. To swing, to cry, to run
away, to beg her to love him. His heart says inside what to do,
but no help does it provide.
Dropped to his knees before her and reduced back to tears. Every
ounce of pride has left him and has been replaced by his fears.
Torn away from everything left inside that makes him a man. Left
to beg for it all back, to get back what he once had. The only
pity given from her seems to drive him mad.
All that mattered is gone, not a single thought here from before.
Where does it all end, why does it all scorn?
He reaches out for her in one last attempt to keep. Hoping that
his pain will appeal to her; maybe his sorrow will be sweet.
Flashing back to all of those much happier times. He can remember
back to those days that never would end, when time would just fly
by with each other they would spend.
Flashing back to reality as the rain comes down. The sky cries
for him today, pitying him today like it never did before. She
turns and walks away from him, feeling no sorrow for him like
she never did before. No waiting or wondering this time, just a
back and a shirt to his face, for the victim in this crime.
In one last flash he remembers to way back to then. When they
promised each other that the good times never would end. Way
back in times when they both first met. Many times ago when
just a talk would leave them both in a sweat.
Flashed back to reality, the rain coming down much harder. He
sees her down on the ground, her face in the water. Changing in
shape and changing in color, the puddle becomes red as it accepts
her murder.
All that mattered is gone, not a single thought here from before.
Is this how it is to end? Is this what fate has foresaw as her. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|12:48 am] |
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There once was a girl who wanted to be loved, she pull and pulled at people just to be hugged. Everywhere that she went she never found love, she was almost torn and drowned from above. Her family did scorn her and her friends would not hug her. She even found this guy accross the land who told her he loved her. When all was said and done she never found her hug, she never found her kiss and was felt as small as a bug. Then one day, when she did wake, she began to tremble, and she began to shake. FOr infront of her eyes, was the man she did seek, he has come to save her, to rescue her in her sheets. He picked her up, and carried her afar, away to be held in warmth, and never be afar. In the end now they sit, all warm and well lit. Happy together at last, never once did their love become as fragil as spun glass. |
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| Inspiration 2 |
[Mar. 8th, 2005|09:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nonpoint - What a Day | ] |
Bearing the soul and looking with in,
I found myself had fallin into madness.
Pushing further down this energy of desire,
it sleeps with in with out expire.
Infinite time does pass on lonely hearts,
with not so much as a flutter.
Then one day it all erupts,
with wish and desire and a want in treys.
Flames consuming and all refusing me,
to ever go away.
Burning and pulling at me it does,
threaten to take my sanity away. |
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| Inspiration one |
[Mar. 8th, 2005|09:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | complacent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nonpoint - What a Day | ] |
A swing and a hit,
one after the other,
each throwing punches,
at each other.
Blow for blow they continue
in the everlasting fighting match.
Clashing over the decision,
on what to say and what to do,
on what to say.
The brain and the heart,
always fighting on the next move,
never listening to the soul,
always thinking they can go it solo.
Does one go with the heart,
and maybe end up hurting more then ever,
losing the friend,
never having it like it was or another chance.
Or does one stay with the brain,
never knowing the possible outcome,
or never truly knowing what fate has wanted
or never knowing what could have been. |
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| A small story |
[Feb. 23rd, 2005|12:05 am] |
There once was a little girl, who lives far far away. Locked inside of her mine with a prizion fo depression and lies. Then along came this little boy, who could see the unseen, and know what lies beneeth. He picked up the little girl and held her little hand, and put his little heart, in the cavity where hers had once been. He told her of dreams and of memories past, and of all the little adventures he has seen, and where he makes his path. The little girl looke dup with a little smile on her face, and talked ot the little boy of all her disgrace. Of all the lies the evil children had told, of all the torure her family did unfold. This little girl and this little boy became quickly the best of friends. When much joy and harmoney they both begand to see what this great big would could hold for both of them indeed. No matter how hard the little girl did fight him, the little boy never let go, even thought it did fright him. Many years later that boy did say, that he loved that girl completely all the way. The little girl so surprised at this did not know how to react, she just sat down and slowly fell back. She cried and cried, and the little boy asked, what was wrong with her, why was she so sad. The little girl sat up, and did not make a sound, she just walks ot the boy and put her arms around. She held on so tight the boy could not breathe, he just held on until he could not see. Many years down the road, they are both no longer little. And they live together, with ones of their own, oh so little.
This is dedicated to my loving girl Jenny,
I just hope you find htis once day and know that you are something very special. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2005|05:12 am] |
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There is a special girl on my mind right now. I love her to death, and she is all that is important. When I am away fom her I think of her, when I am alking with her I think of her, and when I am with her I think of her. I love this girl with all my heart my all my soul. Right now I am sitting awake thinking about her. Shes so storng in my thought right now that I can get back to sleep. When I think of how much it hurts to be away I feel some tears coeming on. I'm trying to hold back but I don't know how long it will last. If you see this and you are that girl, I have a message for you. Jenny I love you alot and I want to talk to you my baby. |
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| March 11th |
[Feb. 15th, 2005|11:07 am] |
|
I get to see Jen on march 11th, i can't wait. Gonna be her birthday on the 29th but I won' be there for that date. Shes going to be 20, so sence its the big 2 - 0, I wanna do something really special for her, so she don't forget it. I've been thinking around the lines of a complete body massage, lotion, the works. Still need a few ideas. |
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| Anoter small writting |
[Feb. 9th, 2005|10:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Muahhaha | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | None | ] |
I wrote something last night but due to techinal difficulties I will have to post it when I get home, for now here is a little something I wrote for my girl, yay Valenties day! *watches wallet implode from lack of funds*
Slowly and so quiety she never makes a sound,
breathing ever so softly here with out a frown.
So beautiful and lovely does her simple features form,
to make the angles turn greenwith envy and scream and mourn.
A heavely creature before me not ment for this earth,
never held to meaure her value ever sence birth.
With a small sigh and a turn she now faces me,
still lost in a world behind her eyes only she can see.
Reaching out with delicate arms to form around my breast.
laying her golden hair quickly on my chest.
Clining to me if from fear I will leave,
I sloly drift back off to sleep and let the angelic form be. |
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| Bleh |
[Feb. 8th, 2005|04:11 pm] |
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Man i'm here at work and all I wanna do is go home, I think I had some bad lunch at the chinesse place cause now I got a nasty headache and it won't go away, 45 mins until I can go home *pouts* |
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| Story |
[Feb. 7th, 2005|12:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Evil | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Show Tunes - Armor Hotdogs | ] |
In an attempt to start back writting again, here is something, I hope you like it.
Trapt:
I drag my finger across your satin lips, watching
you sway to avoid my touch. Forever watching you I
lean down, to take in your intoxicating scent. I
quietly whisper 'beautiful', and stare at you with
a smirk. Slowly tracing my finger from your lips,
down your body over all your curves and features.
A small bead of moisture escapes your surface,
and lands on the ground. Not able to move to run
all you do is sit in place helpless and silent
and bound to your confines. Continuing down with
my touch, my finger moves lower and lower on your
body. When my had has reached its final destination,
about half way down your body, I grip you. Holding
on to you so low you almost tremble from my touch.
From there I slowly move closer, the smirk never
leaving my face. As my primal instincts begin to
take over, the smirk turn to a cold look, and I
slash you with my knife. I then pick up the rose,
I have just cut, and give it to the nice lady
who was waiting for her flower.
-Kev |
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| Updates |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|10:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | good | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | P.O.D. - Alive | ] |
Just sat here, I talked to my girl for a while, I feel alot better now, actually kinda calm and peaceful, I think tommorowo is going to be a good day. Just really happy right now. And as the song says, I feel so alive i think i could fly |
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| Meh |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|04:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | akon - MR LONELY | ] |
hey people just me again, guess i did it again. nothin too serious, just feeln kinda loney with out my gil. If yah want some good songs to check out when yer lonley heres some for yah:
Incubus - I Wish You Were Here
Simple Plan - I Miss You
Akon - Mr Lonely
I just sit here and I really miss her alot, that special girl of mine thats so far away from me right now. Sometimes I feel like we are on our way out then we seem to get back together. god shes such an awesome person. I really do love her, noone like her on this planet I know that, not anyone that makes me feel the way I do when I am around her. Just the look on her face when she looks at me,god I wish I could just see her now. Wow, tears cause I miss her, that not a new one on me, just god I need her and sometimes I think I treat her so bad. I just want her to be with me again, not sure what to do this time, ok the typos are getting worse for me cause of the teared eyes. So jen if you read this, please I need you baby, I love you alot, call me. |
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thefireman's journal